No one ever told me. Why didn't anyone every tell me? She died. He moved on. If I'd known right away, maybe I wouldn't be here. Maybe I would still be in WolfClan. Maybe the cats I'd help plot against would be alive. But no. I never knew how she died. So I had sided with the cat that killed her murderer when I found out.
I am Fox now. I renamed myself so I made sure I was loyal. Wisp took care of me like the mother I never got to know. She made sure I was respected, that I had honor. Self esteem. But I didn't have self esteem. Courage. Not as long as I was killing cats. Not as long as I helped murder so many cats.
I remember being told that I was loved by WolfClan. A cat from DewClan, Bloodtalon, even told me that my mother would be ashamed if she knew that I was being a traitor. And I was. Because I had nowhere to go. No one loved me. I was blind literally and metaphorically. I was worthless. I was mad. Stupid. And if they really knew all of the things that I had felt, thought of, dreamed of, their minds would change about me. WolfClan wouldn't hate me like they do now.
When I saw Horrorkit, Steelkit, Wonderkit, and Shinekit, my heart tore. And then the rest of it froze when I was told that they were my father's. I saw Whitefeather and Shadowstar, and didn't feel happy for them like my siblings. They were the symbol of hatred in my eyes.
When I finally grew to be an apprentice, I was told who killed my mother. Crookedheart. He was trying to kill my father and she jumped in front of him and he tore her throat open. At first, I thought that he was ungrateful. My depression grew into hatred. When Deerpaw saw this hatred, she grew further away from me.
I soon after heard about Death and his rogues killing Crookedheart. This brought happiness into my heart. My mother that I hardly knew was avenged. But Shadowstar was still needing to be rid of.
One night, I snuck out and found "DeathClan". This is where my story begins...

Foxkit yawned, laying at his sleeping mother's side. Rain poured down, pattering at the top of the nursery. A drop dripped on Foxkit's nose and he laughed. Suddenly, a shuffling sound was heard as Shadowstar stepped in.
"Cold out there," he chuckled at Weatherstep, who awoke at the sound of his voice. He shook his pelt and purred, "Wet, too." He looked at Weatherstep, who was obviously bored.
"Dear, can you get me something from the pile?" Weatherstep mewed sleepily to Foxkit's father. Shadowstar turned around to look at the fresh-kill pile and frowned. He turned back around.
"No fish. I'll go hunt one for you." He offered.
"I can do it," she mewed quickly. "I think I need some time out of the nursery. I'm beginning to get paranoid that the walls are starting to get closer inwards." She laughed, standing.
Shadowstar shook his head, insisting. "I insist. I don't want you to get sick in this weather. Greencough might spread. I'll do it." With that, he turned around and went out of camp. Probably to the river.
"Ambershine, can you watch the kits?" Weatherstep called.
Rainfall, one of the warriors, mewed, "She's not here. She followed ghat dragon-cat thing, remember?" He walked over. "I'll watch'em. Where are you going?" He mewed. Weatherstep let out a purr of of laughter.
"Seeing how in the world he is gonna catch a fish. He can barely catch Troutkit when he runs." She giggled. "Thank you." Weatherstep licked all of her kits between the ears, and mewed, "Goodbye. I'll be back."
Foxkit watched her walk after Shadowstar.

She wouldn't be back alive.

Foxkit heard shrieks and screeches of agony and wails of grief from the camp. Then after hours of rain and loud yowls of sorrow, movement showed at the camp and Foxkit saw Deerkit, his sister, close her eyes. Shadowstar walked into the clearing with the corpse of Weatherstep in his jaws.
"Mamma!" Foxkit shrieked. How could this happen? Why? Was that who was screaming?! Shadowstar cried, bending over his mate. Deerkit and Troutkit cried in grief. Foxkit stared at his mother, struck with terror and shock, though it didn't show, his emotionless eyes rested on the hole in her throat.
Soon there was a vigil, and his siblings had to go in to sleep. Foxkit and Shadowstar were the last cats beside the body.